I've agreed to a preaching assignment in November that's titled: "If you knew my past..."
It sounded like a wonderful challenge when I agreed. I do find that there is great impact in being real and sharing what God's done in my life. But as I sat down to list out "What I want 'you' to know I am" and "What I'd much prefer 'you' never knew" a formerly familiar feeling crept into my heart and mind... Shame.
Shame, in the Bible, is used to point to guilt. And, clearly, I'm guilty of many failures that have hurt God's heart. Still, that fact of being guilty and the FEELING of shame are two different things entirely.
You see, God forgives, redeems, frees, and makes new. Having confessed my failures and accepted His gift of grace, I am free from the guilt and the feelings of condemnation. So why now? Why is the shame monster attacking me?
The evil one, Satan, doesn't like stories of redemption and will bring his full-on effort to tell you (me) that: "Those things you did are really who you are. You are a fake -- your real character is scum -- no one will respect you anymore if you share the truth. If they know your past...they will reject, leave, loathe, look down on, or pity you."
Oh, yes... Isn't that the point of the sermon in the first place? Defeating the lies and ushering in God's Truth and light on who I am in him is what offers hope.
So, into the battle I go! Who's with me?
During his message, one of our lay speakers recently said, "I don't know your sins, and that's good, and you don't know my sins--and that's better."
ReplyDeleteI think, sometimes, I confuse shame with penance, which is akin to mistaking worry for prayer.
They're not the same. One gnaws at the soul, and one feeds it. That's a lesson I have to relearn each time I need it.
Any chance your church has a podcast? I'd love to hear your message come November.
I may present a different point of view, and, hopefully, it doesn't disagree with anything God would tell you. Beth Moore says,(my paraphrase) "I have shared EVERYTHING about myself with a few, close, trusted friends. I don't think that God requires me to lay out my life, deed by deed, to the mass public, for their judgment or approval. I speak in generalities about my past, saving the intimate details for those I can trust to love me despite them.
ReplyDeleteYou have freely "confessed your sins" to God and others, and you have been healed. Seek God for what you really need to share....and what you don't. Love ya!