God is bigger than our intentions

I've been neglecting this blog -- on purpose. I haven't felt as though I've had anything inspiring, profound, or edifying to say. It's been a month or two of hectic, even stressful "stuff."

Through this blog I wish more than anything to encourage others to see and seek the beauty, wisdom and truth of God -- his grace. So while I'm feeling less than encouraged myself, I haven't wanted to say anything (If you can't say anything nice...)

Then, God showed up big time to straighten me out on Sunday.

A little bit of back story...
It's been a challenging time in ministry for me. I'm struggling to figure out my "fit" and all the when, where, how questions. So to simply clear my head, I intended on attending my church Saturday night and going to hear a friend preach at a different church on Sunday. But, I was sick Saturday night and stayed in. Sunday was still rough physically, and I faced a dilemma. Should I go to "my" church Sunday (where my "sister" Sue was being interviewed during the service -- and where I wanted to see all the people), or should I still go hear my friend preach?

Despite a wave of guilt, I made the choice out of an overriding need to be encouraged. I really wanted to hear my friend preach because at his church I'd be a guest -- an observer -- able to just "veg" and maybe walk away more filled. So the family headed to his church -- to meet my need.

About half-way through the sermon he spoke his heart about a season of discouragement in ministry he is struggling through. He spoke of a powerful love for God and the church, but of discouragements as well. He spoke my heart. As I do, I cried.

I left broken, but also strangely encouraged knowing I was not alone in this place of struggle.

Then...that afternoon, my friend sent me this message:
Ann, It was a very pleasant surprise to have you and your family at (church) today. Your life, witness, prayers and interest gave me a needed boost today. Thank you for following your inclination to come. I'd love to have you preach to our group again sometime soon.

I had gone there TO BE encouraged -- feeling like I had nothing to give and with no intention to give of myself. But my friend HAD BEEN encouraged by me just being there.

Wow.

It is in these moments of surprising and sustaining grace that I know more clearly than in any other that there is in fact a God -- a great God -- who IS in control -- who does have a plan -- who does meet our needs -- who uses us to meet others' needs...even when we aren't trying to.

That is the best encouragement of all.

Lesson learned: I don't need to have the right plan or even the right intentions to show and share God's love. I just have to show up. So, friends, I'll be showing up here a lot more often.