Where's the Line?

"In your anger do not sin," The Apostle Paul told first century Christians in Ephesus. The Apostle Peter said that a woman's beauty "should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

I agree with both wise men.

Yet Jesus got angry when warranted while, of course, not sinning. He was not a passive man. Peter and Paul were not passive Christ followers, either. One example of Jesus' righteous anger is told by the Apostle John. He told of Jesus' anger at those doing commerce in the Temple -- men taking advantage of the sacred space for personal gain. John reported: "So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables."

Point made.


So yesterday, I had an angry moment and acted upon it. I'm interested in your thoughts about my behavior.

Brad, the boys, and I were at the Illini football game in Champaign. My alma mater was winning. All was well. Then, it became clear we had three fans from Purdue (Illinois' opponent) sitting three rows behind us who were becoming increasingly verbal and obnoxious. A few weeks earlier we had been at a Bear's game in Chicago with loud and annoying fans behind us. But in Chicago, the extent of the tirade could be characterized as redundantly "cranky." No swearing; just the comments of wanna-be athletes who could have and would have done everything right if on the field.

But in Champaign yesterday, the verbal assault escalated from nasty comments about my team and the refs to a loud proclamation of how Illini players must have performed sex acts (described) to buy off the refs. I heard it once, and boiled. Still, I sat still and prayed. Then, one of them said it again. And whether empowered by the Holy Spirit or just over my edge, I stood to my feet and took 'em all on -- loudly.

I yelled, "That's it! You are done. One more vulgar word and security will be here to take all of you out. You can cheer all you want for your team. You can cheer all you want against mine. But you will not continue to swear and be vulgar. I have children here and I will not stand for it. What's it gonna be?"

As bullies do, they blamed each other and claimed to have not said what they said. Very unbecoming for young men who fancied themselves so cool.

Other fans in our section applauded. Bravos and high-fives followed.

I felt weirdly rattled. It certainly wasn't a gentle word to those Purdue fans -- but was it an unloving or sinful rebuke? I don't think so, but I was suddenly questioning myself. As God's representative, was I appropriate? The boys were impressed, but we talked a lot about the difference between being annoyed and being assaulted by someone's language or actions.

The fact is, they stopped the vile spew. They were still annoying, but within acceptable football behavior.

I don't want to be "the sheriff," but I will stand for what's right and that means confronting what's not.

I'm sure there is a range of opinions on this one -- and I'd love to hear yours.

Realist or Defeatist?

I am a firm believer that facing reality as objectively as humanly possible is a good thing. I believe in seeking and accepting truth, regardless of how I feel about it. That "bent" makes me a fierce defender of God's Word as Truth. It can also cause me to sometimes prepare for the worst in a way that limits hope for the best.

I'm a realist. So when my 11-year-old spaniel, Calli, was diagnosed as having significant changes in her liver consistent with cancer, I immediately braced for the inevitable.

If you've followed this blog, you know I have numerous friends who have fought or are fighting courageous battles with cancer. I hate cancer. I mean I really hate it. Add to that the fact that I've had to euthanize four canine family members in the last nine years, and you might see why I simply resigned myself to enduring another loss. My realism helps me cope, but it doesn't always leave room for the hope that is so vital for understanding that God's in charge.

Calli had a biopsy a week ago today. Yesterday, the Vet called and left a message for me that the test results were back. I put off returning the call until I couldn't stand it anymore.

"I have good news," were the first words out of his mouth. "There is no cancer. She has a form of hepatitis that needs intensive antibiotic treatment. But if she responds, she can fully recover. In fact, the tests show that the liver is starting to regenerate itself."

Wow.

I hadn't left open the possibility for good news in my brain or heart.

As I celebrated Calli's good news, it hit me that in what is a good quest to face reality, I need to leave open the possibility of surprise.

My professor and friend Bob always says, "God's grace never ceases to surprise or sustain." He's right. I won't have Calli forever. And the fact is that she's been the most high maintenance, neurotic dog I've ever encountered. But God is using her to teach me...and for that I am grateful, and increasingly hopeful.

Happy Talk

When my brother was 17, he pleaded with our parents to help him buy a purple pickup truck. Ok, it was the ‘80s -- and he thought this truck was the coolest thing he’d ever seen. It would give him freedom and let him help out more (Right!). Mostly, it would give him a chance with what he wanted most -- teen babes! This truck would make him happy.

He tried logic with my dad and emotion with my mom. I think he even suggested that he would pick me up from volleyball practice, if he had this truck. That truck would make him happy. Well, they gave in. And guess what? In weeks, that perfect, purple truck had been misused, and abused. I don’t ever recall him picking me up from anywhere.

He kept the truck until it literally fell apart years later. But it stopped making him happy in no time at all. It wasn’t satisfying in the same way it was after he had it. It didn’t markedly improve his teenage love life. Plus, he had to pay for gas, insurance, and oil changes. The truck wasn’t the source of happiness it had promised. It came with responsibility! It let him down.

We all want to be happy -- to be satisfied. And yet it’s so easy to get caught up in chasing what we think happiness is all about, only to be disappointed. Sometimes it can make you wonder if happiness even exists -- or if it’s always fleeting. Well, there’s good news.

God gives us the keys to permanent happiness through His grace and from His owners’ manual for how to operate our lives.

Are you interested?

Psalm 1 spells it out pretty plainly:
Happy is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or stand in the way of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season, and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away.

Therefore, the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

The Psalms are the prayer book of the ancient Israelites. They are poetry. This psalm compares and contrasts two kinds of people -- those who know and honor God (the righteous) and those who refuse to do either (the wicked).

What is God saying through this psalm?


1. Our happiness/satisfaction comes largely from what we DON’T do.

Happy is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.

Wrong actions -- We do things we have to rationalize
Wrong attitudes -- Are you the center of your attention?
Wrong influences -- Who do you listen to?

These keep us from the best God has for us.
So how do we avoid these traps?
- Understand who’s in control, and ask for help.
- Diagnose your specific issues.
- Stop it -- with God's power!

2. Our happiness and satisfaction comes from learning and loving God’s way
But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.

There are rules, but it’s not all about rules.

- Accept that God wants the best for you and that His “way” is understandable and possible to follow. The good father wants to protect his child.
- Understand the fact that your way isn’t God’s way. Surrender.
- The good father offers child a relationship based on love.


3. Our happiness/satisfaction comes from connection to the source of life.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

- God’s grace connects us to the source of life.
- The tree represents the result of connection to the source of life.
- What Jesus did for us makes us righteous, not our behavior.
- No fruit is produced without being rooted with access to life-giving water.
- Acknowledge what you are -- flawed and precious to God at the same time.
- Spend time getting “rooted” with people, with God in prayer, with the Bible.


God doesn’t promise you a purple truck, or a better job, or reconciliation with someone who’s walked away, or a pain free future. He does promise to change you -- if you choose to surrender and to follow His way.

Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore, the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

God views us as His or as separate from Him -- righteous or wicked.

We have the choice:
Happiness and permanence in a deeply rooted life --or--
Dissatisfaction and temporary straw houses that end in death.

God loves you. Choose Him. Choose life!

There is Hope!

When the alarm went off today at 5:42 a.m., I groaned. I have a good old fashioned cold and had spent a good part of the night coughing. But my feet hit the floor extra early today because my 14-year-old stepson was willing to participate in the "See You at the Pole" event at his high school. "See You" is a nationwide event where students lead prayer while standing around their school's flag pole 45 minutes before school begins -- which, in this case, was 6:30 a.m.


As I woke Ben, he wasn't sure about his decision any longer; but he did get up, shower and wander downstairs for breakfast. We left the house at 6:15, while Brad ate breakfast with William and prepared to take him to school.



This is Ben's first year of high school and while he's well liked, the social pressure has certainly stepped up from junior high. When I pulled into the parking lot, he was a bit "freaked" about not seeing anyone he knew. It was, after all, still dark.

As I approached the circle drive to drop him off (Parents are NOT part of this -- and that's really a good thing!), I could see 50-plus sleepy students around the flag pole. Dozens more cars were pulling in behind me. Wow! The previous junior high years had surfaced maybe 20-30 kids total.

Although I tried to hide it, I began to cry.

"I'm proud of you," I said.

"OK?" he replied.

"You get that God comes first and you're willing to honor him. So are all the rest of these people. How cool is that?" I said.

"Sure. See you later," he said as he opened the door and closed it behind him.

You see, I didn't "get it" for sooooooo long. If there were these kinds of events when I was a kid, I knew nothing of them, and likely wouldn't have attended if I had known.

I am truly moved by kids who are stepping up and out -- and EARLY -- for their faith in God. This wasn't a "show up and be popular" event. It was about kids who really were there for the right reasons. That blows me away.

When and where do we stand up and out like that?

I'm humbled -- and hopeful for the future of humanity.

Dream On!

About a decage ago, I led a small group focused on "People Who Love People Who Struggle." The purpose of the group was to support and guide those of us who were in relationship with people who suffered with clinical depression and related illnesses.

As you might imagine, a critical point for all of us was the need for self care -- not selfish care -- but for taking good care of ourselves as well as our loved ones.

I vividly remember the night we talked about dreams. I asked everyone to close their eyes. Then, I asked them to release their minds to dream about what made their hearts pound -- what they were passionate about -- what caused them to smile. There were a lot of tear-stained faces in the room.

It was a great thing to get in touch with our dreams, but the emotion came from the angst of just dreaming about getting through the day, or from the often unrealized dreams we had for our loved ones. Faced with articulating our own heart's desires caused fear and simultaneously ignited hope and a collision of what might be, what could have been, and what may never be.

I shared Psalm 34 with the group: "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." I explained that the Psalm DOESN'T mean God blesses all our desires; but it DOES mean that if we stay focused on Him and His ways, His desires will become ours.

That was a head-shift for many. We started praying about how to more deeply delight in who God is and asked Him to share His desires for our lives with us.

Jenny was a member of the group who took this to heart. She was a young, relatively sheltered young woman who was very close with her family and hadn't experienced a lot of the world outside of central Illinois. But God was speaking His desires into her heart. Jenny shared with the group a deep passion to work with orphans in Africa. In the beginning, it was simply a great dream -- a nice diversion from the issues that she was going through. But as God does when He plants a desire in a heart, Jenny grew increasingly burdened by this dream (in a good way!). She started investigating opportunities. She faced resistance from well-intended people who feared for her safety. She faced internal resistance about how to raise money, leave her friends and dog, and the like. Still, Jenny's dream kept growing.

It hasn't been all smooth sailing, but Jenny has been on an incredible journey over the last seven years or so. She has traveled the world as a chaperone for the African Childen's Choir and has been involved with orphanages in various African countries.

I just received an update from her this week. Jenny has a rental house in Nkomazi, South Africa. She is a member of the Music For Life staff serving some of Africa's most vulnerable children with God's love and grace. Jenny is living her dream and loving it!

Jenny was sent to Africa on her life's mission -- her dream.

We are all being asked to "go" for God. It may be to the room down the hall, the school up the street, the corner office, or the ends of the earth. Be willing to "go." Be willing to dream. Be willing to share that dream.

You can start with the prayer, "God, help me delight in who you are and the wonders of your ways. Plant your desires for my life in my heart and help them grow."

Let me know what happens!

Funny -- and True!

So I was searching a real estate website last night for ranch houses or condos in Bloomington... My dad lives in Peoria and is considering moving. I found a house I wanted to see more about and the website required me to register. I hate that, but I entered my name, e-mail address, etc. and then the next empty box was labeled: "Where do you want to be?"

What it meant was "What town do you want to search in?" -- but I thought it was like a password that you could literally enter "where you want to be" and remember it for subsequent log-ins. So, I entered "Heaven." After the fourth time of trying to get the site to accept my answer, I figured out what I was doing wrong.

I blushed with embarrassment and then laughed out loud. After all, heaven is my permanent address -- but I don't need to search for a house, Jesus is taking care of my every need.

Yea!

Chance Encounter

I was in Chicago last week for the annual shareholder meeting of my employer. I oversee the execution of the meeting with the capable, professional help of staff and a production company that arranges for the set, lighting, visual productions, etc. My friend and colleague Bill is an owner of the production company. Bill is 75 and not even considering slowing down, let alone retiring. I consider Bill family. As such, I've been praying for, and a few times with, him for many years. Bill is a skeptic when it comes to religion -- and for some good reasons. I simply want him to know truth; the most fundamental truth of who Jesus was, is, and always will be. I want Bill in heaven with me.

We've had some good conversations over the years, but there's always a stiff-arm to the idea of accepting such a "crazy" idea. Bill is a self-made, self-sufficient man. They (as I personally know well!) are the toughest to bring to an understanding of their own need and the provision God offers.

So, I pray, and I try to model God's character to Bill.

But last week, an open door came in a remarkable way. Stay with me on this one...

Bill was getting his shoes shined in the hotel. As Bill often does with strangers, he had made fast friends with the shoe shine man. As I came down the hall, Bill hollered, "Ann, Ann, you have to meet Jason."

I headed over to the shoe shine stand and Bill introduced me to Jason, a former Marine (I guess you're always a Marine, right?) who coaches a youth track team, writes poetry, and shines shoes in the Hilton Chicago.

Now, I hate to admit this, but I would have never bothered to meet Jason had Bill not flagged me down. I would have walked right by him dozens of times during the week. But this "chance encounter" was prearranged.

You see, as we discussed Jason's desire to help kids, he quoted Scripture. I answered, "Amen, brother." We made eye contact in acknowledgment of our shared commitment to the Lord.

Jason then proceeded to share a poem with me. His poem was titled, "Who am I?" It was a beautiful summary of Jesus' birth, death, and resurrection. It was the gospel as "in your face" as it gets -- all of this with Bill still on the shoe shine stand.

While Jason spoke, I prayed for Bill to have open ears and an open heart.

I don't know if Bill took the message to heart, but I do know it was spoken more directly and beautifully than any conversation I might have tried to orchestrate.

Days later, Brad and I were headed out to dinner and Jason was at his stand. I walked over and asked him if he remembered Bill. He did. I told him of the years I've prayed, and I thanked him for his boldness in powerfully delivering the good news. Jason's eyes, and mine, filled with tears as he thanked me for letting him know.

In a week that involved reporting billions of dollars in sales, eating like royalty, staying in opulent "digs," taking in top-notch entertainment, and glad-handing with nearly 1,000 meeting guests, it was the encounter with Jason, a man not at all defined by his occupation, that will stay with me...and, I pray, will stay with Bill.